Heckling Babies
During my research for the Sasha and Storm post, I came across an article about Storm and something written in it jumped out at me:
Rolling out of the “media hoopla” that followed the Star story - people would yell “boy” or “girl” at Storm on the street.
Storm’s parents, Kathy and David, decided not to assign a gender to Storm, and people who disagreed with this decision would yell “boy” or “girl” at Storm in an effort to express their disagreement (just plain rude). This particular scenario hadn’t crossed my mind when I envisioned a day out and about in the city with Zoomer.
In my ideal world - Brent, Zoomer, and I could wake up on a Saturday, and walk to our local coffee shop – a latte for Brent, a dirty chai for me, and a babyccino for Z – we’d then stroll around our neighborhood enjoying the sunshine. No one shouts “girl!” at us while we pick flowers.
We go to the farmer’s market at the park downtown to pick up some produce and browse the local artists’ booths. Z gets their face painted and waves to vendors while being pulled in a wagon bursting with sunflowers, pastries and local peaches. No one shouts “boy!” at us when Z roars like a lion.
Everyone has different beliefs and values and lifestyles that influence their parenting decisions. For example, some people strongly believe in raising their children to be vegan, or religious, or feminist - or a vegan, religious, feminist or [insert one of a thousand other parenting practices here].
I hope no one yells insulting or intimidating words at parents who are simply doing what they believe is best for their children. We don’t all have to agree on the best childrearing practices – but I think we can agree that if you can’t say something nice to A CHILD, you should just be quiet.
Resilience is our ability to adapt or bounce back from adversity such as traumatic-stress. Here are three tips for raising resilient gender creative kids!
A common question Brent & I get asked is, “How do you respond to random people who ask you about or assume Zoomer’s gender?” Here is a breakdown of what typically happens in our day-to-day interactions with strangers...
When Z was just a wee gestating bean in my belly at 26 weeks, someone asked Brent the usual question, “What are you having?” Brent told them that we were going to wait and be surprised. The person asked, “How do you even prepare for that?...
A hairstyle is an important part of someone’s identity –heck– hair has the ability to make or break someone’s day! We in the gender creative community celebrate individuality and root for the rebels!
There have only been a handful of times in Zoomer’s life (two years so far) where we have had to navigate formal documents and requests for a sex or gender designation
Read some of the in-depth responses Kyl gave in her interview with Alex Morris, author of the "It's a Theyby" article, in April 2nd's issue of New York Magazine.
Finding childcare for your kid can be a daunting task. How many hours of childcare do you need? How much money do you have to spend? How far are you willing to travel?...
I’m quicker to associate men with chemistry and women with literature. It sucks, but it’s true. I have unconscious bias that favors men in fields of science...
If you’ve never heard of intersex, you aren’t alone. A few weeks ago a colleague and I were at a popular Las Vegas bar attending a drag show...
I want you to channel your 9-year-old self. And I’m going to ask you a very important question. “Hey you, 9-year-old… What do you want to be when you grow up?”
A common question Brent & I get asked is, “How do you respond to random people who ask you about or assume Zoomer’s gender?” Here is a breakdown of what typically happens in our day-to-day interactions with strangers...
When Z was just a wee gestating bean in my belly at 26 weeks, someone asked Brent the usual question, “What are you having?” Brent told them that we were going to wait and be surprised. The person asked, “How do you even prepare for that?...
Let me put a disclaimer here: First, I want to acknowledge that the US healthcare system has a long way to go in regards to there being an understanding of the complexities of biological sex and gender identity. Second, my...
“Do you want a boy or a girl?” I heard one of our friends ask my husband, Brent, after finding out we were 5 weeks pregnant. Ten feet away, in my feigned ignorance, I continued looking away from them but was listening harder than I've ever...
Naming a child is a big responsibility. Some people go through elaborate processes to decide on the perfect name, or read through hundreds of names in books and on website lists – some friends of ours did a March Madness-style bracket...
When referring to a child’s genitals, it is common to call them “privates.” We are taking this practice beyond the traditional level. We, as parents, have decided not to reveal Z’s sex to anyone outside of their immediate caretaking circle...
During my research for the Sasha and Storm post, I came across an article about Storm and something written in it jumped out at me: Rolling out of the “media hoopla” that followed the Star story - people would yell “boy” or “girl” at Storm...